Divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can experience. It’s easy to neglect yourself when big, stressful things are happening, especially if you are already attuned to taking care of everyone else. At Kehoe Moneyhun Law, we strive to help our divorce clients in a holistic way by providing them with the support they need.
Here are 6 ways to nourish yourself during divorce:
Treat yourself with grace and kindness
I put this one first because I think it is the most important thing to do while going through divorce. This is a hard time, and maybe the most difficult thing you’ve had to endure in your life. What would you tell a beloved friend if they were in a similar situation? What kind words would you offer them? Now is the time to give yourself that same grace. Say it out loud for you to hear. It’s ok that things are difficult; it’s ok that you feel it intensely. Give yourself space to feel the emotions and space to experience comfort and joy.
Honor your emotions
On that same note, honor what you are going through and what you are feeling. Divorce is trauma. You may be experiencing a slew of emotions: anger, loneliness, sadness, relief, numbness, even joy. Allow yourself to feel those feelings now. Spend time journaling, play loud music, scream into a pillow, move your body, or simply take time for yourself. Sometimes all you can do is move through how you’re feeling and know that it will get better.
Lean in to your supportive relationships
Divorce won’t last forever and you will not be stuck in this same place forever. Lean in to your other relationships for support. It’s ok to ask for help. If there is something you used to do with your spouse, like attending church or your child’s music recitals, ask a friend to sit with you if you don’t want to do it alone. Not every relationship you have in your life will be the right kind of support you need, so identify the ones that feel supportive and let them help you through this time.
Listen to your body
Your body will let you know when its time to slow down, take a break, get some movement, eat, or seek professional help. Pay attention to your physical health. Stress lives in our body and can get stuck there, weakening our immune system and making us sick. If you feel like you need to set an appointment to get a massage, or see your doctor, follow through with it. Keeping your body healthy will help you to navigate the overwhelm of change with more energy and more ease.
Keep a routine
Routines help us with stability and consistency, which is key when so many changes are happening around you. If you already have an established routine during your day, make sure to keep it up. If you don’t, consider implementing something during your day. It could be a morning routine you follow to get ready for the day. It could be an evening routine you have to wind down at night. It could be something you do when you drop your kids off at school or daycare, or a lunch meeting you have every week with a friend or family member. Whatever it is, make it special and sacred to you by setting a loving boundary around that weekly or daily ritual.
Build a support team
This is going beyond friends and family. Building a support team of unbiased supporters is going to be essential to your well being during divorce. A divorce coach will help guide you through the divorce process while helping you to create a plan for the future. If your health needs some attention, consider hiring a nutritionist to help support your health goals. A financial advisor can walk you through your financial picture and help create a long-term plan. A realtor can help assess the worth of your house and find a perfect home if you need to move. All this to say, you don’t have to bear the burden of divorce on your own. At Kehoe Moneyhun Law, we help clients connect to the professionals who can best support them during their divorce.